We sometimes call it, “tough love.” There are situations where the best thing we should or must do for another person is at odds with what that person thinks they want from you. They might even be in violent opposition to the position you ought to take, and it is through the courage of our own convictions that we apply or withhold whatever measure of support despite the resistance.<\/p>\n
Ruthlessly caring is when we need to ignore the emotions that cloud our judgement and trigger our tendencies to rescue people who really do not need to be rescued.<\/p>\n
It can be heart-wrenching to care about a child or loved-one in such a way. In fact, most people choose to enable what could even be clearly seen as dangerous behavior over confronting and possibly alienating someone they care about.<\/p>\n
Leaders face this dilemma all the time. It may not have the same emotional charge as dealing with a child addicted to drugs, but the consequences of caring for people who need to learn to solve the problems they ought to own is no different. The distinction is between caring about<\/em> people as opposed to caring for<\/em> them.<\/p>\n Good leaders care about their people and leave the path clear for them to learn to care for themselves and learn to solve the problems they should own.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The benefits go well beyond encouraging and developing needed self-reliance. The greater benefit is the enduring sense of satisfaction of overcoming steep challenges. This kind of personal accomplishment expands into the experience of pure joy – and not only elevates the human spirit – but becomes the deep sense of purpose that continues to guide more and greater accomplishments. This may be the greatest and most sustainable source of overwhelming human joy. It transcends the more fleeting moments of relative happiness we find in even life’s most pleasant distractions.<\/p>\n In a very real sense, joy is both addicting and contagious. The problem is that the moments of overwhelming joy we experience by way of significant and meaningful accomplishments require a level of dedication, preparation and practice in order to perform to whatever standards the challenges or opportunities we face demand. This might explain the addictive allure of real accomplishment and the joy it brings us – not unlike how the pleasure of sex correlates to preservation of our species.<\/p>\n There is plenty of evidence to suggest that eradicating poor habits is best achieved by replacing them with healthy ones. The same may be true for our addictions. We can replace the destructive behaviors of bad addictions with the joy of positive meaningful accomplishments as evidenced in the way people have risen from ghettos and gangs to become community leaders and successful entrepreneurs.<\/p>\n As leaders we hold this power. We can refuse to let people default themselves and remain victims to debilitating and dangerous devices. We can stamp-out mediocrity and dysfunction by elevating in those we influence to accomplish significant, meaningful and positive things. We can change things for the better. But to do so we must learn to care about people and guide them to learn to care for themselves.<\/p>\n We must learn to care ruthlessly about people, but choosing to say no to what may seem to be our most charitable instincts. Benjamin Franklin may have summed this up perfectly, in suggesting,<\/p>\n ” I am for doing good to the poor, but I differ in opinion about the means. I think the best way of doing good to the poor is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it.” -Ben Franklin<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The primary responsibility of any leader is to ensure that whatever organization they lead maintains a sustainable competitive advantage. It is the key to surviving the thriving. This is impossible to achieve unless we are successful in driving our mediocrity and sustainably elevating the performance of those we surround ourselves with.<\/p>\n In this way – cultivating MoJo (Moments of Overwhelming Joy) is how competent leaders inspire exceptional performance.<\/p>\n ###<\/p>\n Phil Liebman is the Founder and CEO at ALPS Leadership – Where we help people fully competent, truly exceptional leaders. www.ALPSLeadership.com. Phil has also been a Group Chairman with Vistage Worldwide since 2005 – where he helps leaders realize their potential by learning with and from other leaders. He is the author of the soon-to-be published book, “Cultivating MoJo:\u00a0How competent leaders inspire exceptional performance.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We sometimes call it, “tough love.” There are situations where the best thing we should or must do for another person is at odds with what that person thinks they want from you. 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